"Forty is the new Fifty”, a twenty-something coworker of mine once told me. I don’t know if she was trying to win Brownie points because I have now reached mid-life, but it did resonate with me. My dad, at forty, was definitely not as energized as I am at 45. I refuse to be pidgin-holed into the early seating set on a cruise just because I have reached by forth decade. My tastes have certainly changed since my twenties, no longer will I share a cabin with three other guys (except in my porn-fantasies, and I can select who they will be), I still love disco but have developed a broader appreciation for music, and I now watch my cholesterol (which if I was in my 20’s today I would have started then) but still savor a delicious rib-eye drenched in garlic butter.

So what cruises appeal to my generation and beyond? It all depends upon one’s tastes and activity levels. Most gay men over 40, whom I have interviewed, prefer a mixture of ages, from the young and buff to the mature and life-experienced. A potpourri of gay guys rich in age, wisdom and experiences.

Gay cruises like Atlantis (who recently purchased RSVP) generally appeal to the younger, more active set. Toned bodies and the ability to party all night seem to be requirements for passage if you use the graphics on their websites as a base to measure who will be your fellow passengers. To some extent this is true. Atlantis not only charters the whole ship for their voyages, but they bring in their own entertainment staff including DJs and headliners. The pool deck is magically turned into a huge circuit party with techno beats blazing 24/7.

I met a very tired looking middle-aged couple in Key West who had just departed an Atlantis Caribbean cruise. They loved the fact that the cruise was filled with hot and friendly gay men but they had booked a balcony cabin directly under the pool deck and because of the music upstairs they never had quiet in their cabin. Sleep deprivation set in, and not due to partying on their own. Even at four in the morning the thud of the base reverberated in their cabin. But they still enjoyed the cruise. To their enjoyment they were able to meet headliner Margaret Cho and hang out with her. Too bad they didn’t become better friends with Margaret, whom I’ve worked with many times and absolutely ADORE. She might have shared her cabin with them and her crew of gay boys.

Edward and I have opted to take some mixed (gay and straight passangers) cruises with Pied Piper Travel, a gay cruise agency out of New York, who books large gay groups onto traditional cruises. We have always had a wonderful time. We last sailed on their 2006 Post Thanksgiving Caribbean Cruise with 500 other gay men. The ages ranged from young to old with most in their mid 30’s to their late 50’s.  There were no circuit parties but Pied Piper’s staff did provide entertainment including cocktail parties, pool Olympics, their own all gay shore excursions, and even a sing-a-long viewing of the Sound of Music that had the straight folks on the cruise in awe as many Maria Von Traps and guys dressed as Nuns paraded into the main show room. Pied Piper mainly cruises on Celebrity and Royal Caribbean ships with smaller groups on Cunard’s QM2 and upcoming Queen Victoria.

For men who prefer smaller and more intimate cruising, luxury lines like Sea Bourne, Regent and Windstar offer cruises with a smaller group of passengers. These cruises are both sophisticated and luxuriously casual, sailing to smaller and more exotic ports of call than many of the larger cruise ships. Though the base fare on these ships is generally double that of the more mass marketed Premium lines, many amenities like all suites with balconies, butler service, premium wines at dinner, in-suite mini bars with liters of your favorite liquor, water sports equipment (no, not that kind), truly gourmet cooked to order dining and a no tipping policy, are some of the amenities that are included in your fare. When you add up the cost of these added amenities a luxury cruise can be just slightly more expensive than a Premium cruise where they are not included in the cruise fare.

If your budget is important there are plenty of other cruising options that are impressive and magnificent. Celebrity Cruises and her recently launched upper scale sister line Azamara are outstanding options for budget minded cruising. Celebrity’s Millennium class ships are large yet intimate. Their interiors are understatedly grand, with three story back lit onyx staircases and beautiful arrangements of faux orchids throughout the ship. Princess’s newer and larger ships are also a great choice for any size queen. Princess is very gay friendly and definitely appeals to upper class tastes. Her English officers are slightly more reserved than on Celebrity. The “Dam” class ships on HAL (Holland America Line) are also great choices. These ships have a European flair to their décor and can be a little on the garish side, but they too are very popular with the over-40 gay boys.